A Conspiracy of Dunderheads

Okay, I really hate to give in and start thinking like this, but I really do think there is a conspiracy — albeit one of dunderheads of titanic proportions — to utterly trash nothing less than The United States of America.  And if the rest of the world should get dragged along, well, who the hell really cares about them, they’re not us.  This is what I mean.  I have never seen, nor imagined, such a consistent, concerted effort to destroy and warp and befoul every last decent institution we’ve got, as that which we are now witnessing, courtesy of the so-called “Tea Party”.  Never has an term once reserved for kindly little old ladies and Mad Hatters been so cruelly misused and, frankly, stolen.  This ain’t the Boston Tea Party, or the English cucumber sandwiches school of tea parties.  This is the vile concoction of the Koch brothers or someone like them, and believe me, you’d recoil if you knew what they’re really putting in your cup.

Consider, if you will, that every last candidate on the Republican side of upcoming presidential debacle makes Ronald Reagan look like a liberal fiend, bent on raising any taxes on anybody.  Even Mitt, a man named after his father’s baseball glove, it would seem, has carefully distanced himself from the kinds of tax increases he knows damned well are going to be necessary, whether the rest of the Seven  Dwarves up there on the dais with him realize it.  And then there’s the party as a whole (or a hole, depending upon just how fed up you are), grimly, blindly refusing to cooperate with Obama simply because he is Obama.  That is to say, partly because he’s a black man (well, black enough for them, thank you very much! Did anybody actually see that white woman give birth to him?  Huh? Huh!?), which is made even worse because he’s a reasonable black man, and smarter by any measure than the whole pathetic assemblage of GOP alternatives, except when he actually tries to sneak his little tricks past them by offering compromise — one of the many things now considered needless and wimpy by these all-knowing revisionist stalwart patriots who WILL make us see the light whether it’s light or not.  Along with compromise, they’d like to get rid of compassion — you know, the “Ponzi scheme”, the softie’s medical programs (not just “Obamacare”, but Medicare, which is going to see someone in everyone’s family through hell at some point) that exist to help old people, poor people, or people who just can’t afford the hideously inflated costs of getting somebody to stick a tongue depressor in your mouth and ask you to say “ah”.

THEY DON’T CARE.  And I don’t mean the poor little dunderheads walking in protest with nasty signs, I mean the guys pulling their strings a couple floors up, giggling between themselves at how much they’re raking in while not having to pay taxes like the little guys, the dumb guys, the suckers down there on the ground.  Yes, they’re even screwing their own foot soldiers, blinding them with dreaded words like liberal, spending, socialism, and the implication that just because the GOVERNMENT does something it’s got to be bad.  The kicker for me was when Ron Paul, a man who should be greeting people at the front of a Walmart someplace with his goofy little grin and glistening nice old geezer eyes, actually had the cohones to say — not imply, but to say — that building a fence along the border with Mexico was not a bad idea because it wouldn’t keep the Mexicans out, but because someday our government might well use it to keep our people IN.  What is this guy smoking?  I know he’s a doctor, so maybe he’s over-prescribed something for himself. Let’s get real, Ron.

But see, not even Ron understands the sweep of this conspiracy.  Even though he’s spouting the mantra of the Tea Party and the Brothers Koch, he’s playing into their hands too.  Right along with, I’m sorry to say, the Mainstream Media.  Yup.  Consider:  on Monday Sept 12th, hereafter known as the day after the ten year anniversary, CNN is going to co-host the second republican candidates debate — and they’re going to host it IN COOPERATION WITH THE TEA PARTY.  They’re actually advertising this nauseating little detail!  How can you co-host a debate and be the press — you know, those guys who used to be impartial and just tell you the news and let you decide — when you’re co-hosting it with the most influential and newly powerful faction of the very party you’re covering?  I wonder what Ed Murrow or Walter Cronkite think of that?  Or Chet and David?  Or Dan Rather or Mike Wallace or you name the guy you actually trust?  IT’S A JOKE.  They’re throwing it in your face, implying (strongly) a preference for these distinctly UNpatriotic people (unpatriotic in the sense that they are not exactly constitutionally “observant” when somebody doesn’t agree with how they see things — in other words, they will shout you down and try to shut you up) and worst of all, they are LEGITIMIZING them!  They’re letting the starry-eyed faithful hold the flag.  Advocating inactivity in the frontal lobes of all americans.  Blind belief (but not color-blind belief).

Which brings us back to President Obama.  The man has actually done really well, considering the screaming tantrum-throwers he’s had to contend with ever since they started realizing that they had actually lost, and he had actually won the election of 2008.  He’s improved the lot of anyone needing medical insurance because now you can’t be denied just because you have a pre-existing condition (which happens to an awful lot of us who’ve actually been alive prior to needing medical attention), and managed to do better at getting rid of Bin Ladin than “W” ever could. Not to mention the fact, irrefutable although vastly under represented, that he has cut taxes for middle class families and saved everybody across the board on what they have to pay — with the idea that maybe they need the money a little bit more right about now than ever.  Because his predecessor, a republican, I believe, took a surplus and turned it into a sow’s ear, which he then left to the black guy to clean up.  Hell, to the republicans, that probably made sense.   (I’m sorry, do I sound partisan?  Uh… tough.)  Sure, he’s not perfect.  He might even be arrogant, I don’t know.  But he’s also smart, cagey, and he understands that you can’t just say to hell with the rest of the world as we bring our own institutions crashing down around our tea-swilling ears.  (And hey, the guy should know about ears, huh?) The world’s too small.  Too complicated.  And if Obama is having trouble keeping it all straight, what’s Rick Perry going to do?  Or any of the magical midgets?  They’re gonna hide their heads behind their dogma, their easy, pat answers, and stash the loot they chisel out of the rest of us in the biggest, stinkiest mattress on the face of the earth.  And they still won’t care.

About tomszollosi

I've been a professional screenwriter, television writer, and novelist for over 30 years. I'm at present working on a pilot, I've just put my first ebook (a novel called "The Space He Filled") up on Smashwords, and I've got another, "The Proving" (previously published by Doubleday in 1988), coming up online soon. I'm happily married with two sons, a beloved nephew, and a chocolate labrador retriever named Kahlo. View all posts by tomszollosi

2 responses to “A Conspiracy of Dunderheads

  • DV Berkom

    GREAT post, Tom! My sentiments, exactly. Keep up the good work… also enjoyed your interview with Morgen Bailey. Good luck with the ebooks.

    • tomszollosi

      Thanks for the encouragement. Looks (based on your website, which is impressive) like you’ve been doing this a while. Congratulations on your success and tenacity! I wasn’t sure if anybody was going to agree with my opinions, especially when they get as political as “Dunderheads”, but it’s heartening to know that there are similar thinkers out there! My interview with Morgen was a great experience, and one of my earliest forays into self promotion other than inane postings on Facebook and LinkedIn. I’ve since done a couple more, and there are two more waiting for me to get to in the next few days. Thanks again for the encouraging words.

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